I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize