if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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