Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
