I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize