That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
