beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
