Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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