what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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