Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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