its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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