remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we're so committed to being not committed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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