About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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