Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
