Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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