ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Mom said you looked used
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
