dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
