there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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