Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
