My boss' voice literally gives me gas
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
