As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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