im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Actions speak louder than pants.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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