How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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