im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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