i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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