GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
