3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I got inside last night via doggy door
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
