My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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