I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
