just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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She told me I should be a condom model.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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