yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
