My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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