I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
