Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
what day is it and did you see me today?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize