He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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