come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
