Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
