At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
