Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
