he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
