I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
