I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
