There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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