I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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