Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
im on a boat
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