shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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