Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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