so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
