I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize