Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
