i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
