Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
