True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My bed smells like the plague
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
