just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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