Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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