Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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