Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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