Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
