Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
